One passed over us two weeks ago. That day was wet and sticky and my brother stood outside on his phone, trying to gauge where the rotating clouds were headed in the glowing mauve sky. His friend on the line said, ‘Dude, may want to get in the basement. A tornado just whipped over my head.’ The funnel touched down 20 miles away, desecrating a handful of shops.

Never used to get this type of stuff in my little corner of the world but these summer-y storms, all five hundred of them, have been pretty severe. Thunder is shaking the room right now and sheets of jagged lightning unspool all over the sky like dirty veins; tremendous, ululating spasms of energy.

St. Elmo’s Fire.

The rain intensifies. I tuck a tartan blanket around my shoulders and settle in with a glass of honey wine to watch the storm develop.

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Ideas loiter through my head but I can’t motivate these swollen fingers to begin writing in any form of coherency. The alleged topic: Advantages and Disadvantages of Owning a Credit Card. A Google search, however, turns up numerous articles on this very subject. I jot down some salient points but this constant regurgitation of journalism becomes tedious, and so the dismal little piece crosses an uninspired fate into the slush pile.

I lean back in the chair to rest my mushy brain and admire a star burning outside the window. How many others see what I do right now? We may never touch or speak but I feel a sudden kinship with ‘them’ — they are my people, these infinite star-gazers. The abandoned article/work/my financial worries feel unobtrusive and inconsequential and shrouded in damn near perfection right now.

But nothing brilliant is wedging through either and I need to rest for work; gotta carve out this debt somehow. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll have another go at the credit card article. (But if not, you’ll find dozens more like it, tucked away in some dusty corner of the internet.)

A(nother) financial update forthcoming.

I looked pale? I felt worn out; like a whole entourage of clients had squashed out my innards. Work was hectic, more than usual, and the anxiety apparently was flushing out my features. Self-consciously I reached up to touch my waxen glow-y complexion.

Do I look sick? I mouthed to my coworker while making a demented fish face. She vigorously shook her head, but all ready I was calculating the cost of picking up a tube of tanning lotion on the way home from work.

“My boss told me I looked pale today,” I informed Matt that evening.

We were sitting in McDonalds polishing off the last remnants of Greasers — that’s Big Mac and fries — while discussing the cultural implications of ordering a Big Mac over a McChicken. It also presented an opportune moment to drop my woes on him.

“How does my skin look?”

“Flawlessly vibrant,” he replied loyally.

He slid from the booth — his philosophy exposed in bold serif font across the front of his red t-shirt: HARD WORK NEVER KILLED ANYONE BUT WHY TAKE THE CHANCE? — and momentarily returned balancing a tray with two coffees and a couple of baked apple pies.

As we dug into our dessert, a gnarled finger reached over suddenly to grasp my shoulder. “I’m sorry to interrupt, dear, but — you look just like a movie star.”

A bent older woman with a heart shaped face and freckles splashed across her nose had approached our table. She now clasped her knotted fingers over mine and was inspecting me with startling adoration. “Dear, you do.” Her head bobbed. “Why, you look exactly like that actress. The resemblance is uncanny! Katherine…”

This was the second time my face was placed under scrutiny today; I looked like a movie star though, a Katherine? I grinned like an idiot under such unexpected reverence as my mind considered the possibilities: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Catherine Bell, Katharine Hepburn, Catherine of Alexandria …

“… Katherine Heigl,” she pursued, “from Little House on the Prairie.”

“I think she means Mary,” Matt whispered. “You kind of do, with your hair pinned up like that.”

She gave my arm a final affectionate squeeze before hobbling off with an older man who sported a large furry moustache; she and her gentleman companion debating the ‘astonishing resemblance’ as they trailed out the door.

Matt twisted around in the booth. “Hey, what about me!”

[So in case anyone is remotely interested, apparently I look a bit like Mary Ingles, or Katherine Heigl, or the Katherine Heigl from Little House on the Prairie, if anyone is familiar with that one, albeit a paler version. Found a new word for you, Edgar: loquacious. Freshly read in Rolling Stone.]

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Related Posts:

1. I’m So Easily Distracted

We were on a quest. An adventure of the open road. (I turned into the park.) Today we’d purge our bosoms of wanderlust and trample through The Great Unknown. (I chose my favorite path.) We were stuck in the outback, roaming an enchanted forest of ancient legends and mystery trees, pushing through the Julian Alps. Wild berries and mushroom patches became our white stars of edelweiss.

A rustling caused me to motion for Matt to slow down. What wilderness was skulking beyond this isolated and unfrequented bend? A Slovenian boar? Were we about to experience a morbid encounter with a mouth full of bear teeth, preparing to rend away our fleshy parts? It could be a god damned mountain lion!

(Wait. Do mountain lions exist throughout Europe? Well, shit. Within these rugged corners, they do.)

I tensed with ears pricked and was greeted by a chubby squirrel rolling a moss-covered acorn across the footpath, the process interrupted as the fellow took a moment to scrutinize us before shepherding his generous haul into a private pocket of woodland. How beastly.

We pushed our way through Rattlesnake Creek; a goose splashed at the rowdiness of water bugs and dragonflies that were enjoying casual nibbles at his feet in the raw lazy afternoon. And we lingered to drink it all in, these luminous droplets of summer.

The moments withered away and finally, we — our bellies full of adventure, faces flushed from the attempt of penetrating the unknown — trekked back to the car. I swerved a few miles down the road to avoid the carcass of a turkey vulture splayed across the gritty highway. A turkey buzzard! We marveled, as we’d never seen such a sight.

And so we moseyed home in contentment.

=^..^=

Related Posts:

1. Everyone Requires A Pinch of Solace

I feel like I’m in limbo right now.

Matt has been accepted into the Musician’s Institute of Los Angeles. My best friend/confidant, leaving in a few months. Not that he shouldn’t go. This dry town is snuffing him out.

Don’t fall through the stars, my darling. I’m ecstatically busted up.

I’ve just finished a late shift at work and am now happily playing couch potato/ dipping the final glob of chicken from my Lean Cuisine into the last traces of saucy juice/sipping a decaf with my late night spread. Click on the Weather Channel and thunderstorms are in the forecast every day this week. Bugger. As long as pup stays clear of the blueberry brambles, I’ll be happy. It’ll give me an excuse at least to keep the little butterball inside while I’m at work.

Click on CNN to Sanjay Gupta chattering over some pharmaceutical controversy. Click on CNBC. Home prices are down 18% in the past year. Oil prices jumped today on dollar weakness. General Motors is seeking approval to sell itself and ten others are being charged in Madoff probe. Yuck.

Click, click.

I stare in displeasure before muting the tv and consider sneaking out for a midnight stroll. A quick peek reveals more ominous clouds approaching, so another flip through the channels it is. NYC Prep. Aha. What better way to veg out than a candid hour full of underage little vacuous twits? Just kidding. I’m crabby today but actually kind of like PC.

Not much else going on so I shall continue watching and snarking.

=^..^=

For the moment it’s me and the pup and one hell of a leaky roof.

I’ve cracked out the vacuum and ripped apart the bed so far, while my fuzzy felines intently supervise my every move with their charming little faces. Actually I’ve been in the process of washing my sheets forever now since I have to do it all in separates. The last time I threw my new, buttery soft, ivory pillowcase in with the rest of the wash, it emerged the hue of a speckled carrot. : (

Since I’m patiently waiting for my laundry to finish, I went nipping around the site archives to compile some broke-ass adventures from this past year. Here’s a quick roundup of posts from 2008.

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(Financial Stuff)

My Incredibly Shrinking Savings Account. Are Savers Financial Losers? – The purchasing power of my savings was evaporating as interest rates plummeted and inflation rose. In the current turbulent economy and financial sectors, what gives?

By Taking Control Of My Finances, I Took Back Control Of My Life – The first steps to wealth accumulation blossomed when I was five years old.

Paying Down Debt, What An Amazing Feeling – Still debt-ridden but not out for the count.

Rationing Cards – A Pictorial Journey Down Nostalgia Lane – How millions of resourceful Americans kept it rational during World War II.

A Sip of Sapience – The whispers of wisdom reflected throughout the ages.

(Personal Development Stuff)

Beauty On A Budget. Some of my Favorite Beauty Secrets – Some beauty tips on how to look and feel like a million dollars, even on a broke-ass budget.

Why A Smile Is Your Most Valuable Asset – It pays to put your best face forward ’cause no one enjoys a sour puss!

Fit Nation. Time To Whip My Buns Into Gear – A gym?! I don’t need no stinking gym!

(Bizarre Stuff)

The Mysterious Georgia Guide Stones. A Shepherd of Reason Or An Elitist Covenant? – A bizarre Stonehedge-esque granite monument built on a fertile Georgian hill heralds the conservation of mankind, yet this mysterious artifact remains virtually unknown.

Google Analytics Is Fun! – Whether you’re searching for financial matters or a tiny bit of ass, you may just end up here.

Everyone Requires A Pinch Of Solace – This is actually from 2007 but I just couldn’t resist. If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him!

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Numerous states are being affected by this raging, slippery snowstorm – so for everyone getting piled on, stay safe and warm!

=^..^=

I’m still grappling with this cold from hell. One day I feel fine and on the road to recovery – until the usual stuffiness and feverishness settles in again at night and wishes me a hearty ‘harro!’ Whatever this bugger is, it sure is clingy!

On top of everything, work has been extremely hectic. Enrollment at the community college I work for has been through the roof these past two months. With a suffering economy, everyone is inspired to return to college for remaining spots in the Spring Semester. I’ve literally seen hundreds of students these past two weeks – all desperately cramming to get in at the last moment. The semester officially started yesterday but students still have the opportunity to juggle their schedules this week so I expect the craziness not to wane until after.

Amidst struggling with the sickies, I did manage to have an amazing weekend. Rent the musical was in town (with two of the original cast on board for the encore) and Matty surprised me with tickets to the theatre on Sunday evening to catch the final performance. It was surreal. I loved the movie Rent but actually seeing it performed live on stage with some of the original cast was captivating beyond words. Even strolling through the downtown theatre district is stunning and an experience in itself.

For now, I’m going to nestle into a luxurious bubble bath with my tissue box faithfully at my side and bid the evening adieu.

=^..^=

Currently not reading anything because my head hurts..

Snuggled in a checkered fleece blanket, I heated up the tea kettle and sniffled my way over to the sofa for my daily news intake. A staggering tower of journals and articles – some foreign, some domestic – sat poised on the coffee table, silently enticing. I wavered but felt it impossible to concentrate and the temperatures were absolutely frigid this morning. Brr.

I dismissed the articles and instead settled in with my laptop to browse some ads. A dental student was announcing free clinical cleanings and left contact information. I jotted down her details. A local firm was hiring part time at an attractive hourly wage. Someone was forlornly offering a cash reward (“no questions asked”) for the return of misplaced diamond rings. And a shemale promised a therapeutic encounter not to be forgotten.

I love Craigslist.

Today will be a frazzled day.

=^..^=

What I’m currently reading: “My Laid Off Life” from New York Magazine.

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Featured Resources

Compare prices and read helpful product reviews to make smart buying easy through Ciao! – Price Comparison and Product Reviews for the savvy shopper.

One snowy afternoon (was I drunk?), I mustered up courage and decided to have at it. Into the guts I went, only it didn’t go as smooth as I envisioned. Oops, there goes my login.

I was missing files, they were stubbornly refusing to upload and the site was hosed.

I pleaded my case to the WordPress Support Forum but they seemed just as puzzled. I then turned to my web hosting for answers.  After literally weeks of being locked out of my site and the WordPress Admin panel, I can finally access everything again this morning thanks to Kacy C. of Dreamhost. (The culprit was file permission errors.) Broke-Ass Student is once again alive and kicking. Thanks Kacy!!

Lessons learned:

When WordPress Support can’t offer a cure, try your web host. And upgrading is not as difficult as I feared, it just becomes really freaking tedious when not keeping on top of updates from one version to the next.

Happy New Years, everyone!

=^..^=

A financial trend has emerged over the past few decades that always troubled me. Well-intentioned investors, such as you and I, may have entrusted their money to strangers or invested in things they simply didn’t understand. When pensions disappeared and were replaced with 401(k)s, it even became mandatory at some jobs for people to invest their retirement savings into certain financial instruments.

I’ve always preferred to personally handle my own finances, but I certainly understand that many people simply don’t feel comfortable doing so. However, this could turn into a recipe for disaster if a well-intentioned investor (who is trying to save and do the right thing) trusts an advisor or financial institution who decides to use that money for their own greedy purposes.

I’m infuriated with this bailout because many honest, hardworking Americans (and their children, grandchildren, and grandchildren’s children) are now being forced to suffer for what is quite simply the corruption, greed and carelessness of Wall Street. Predatory lending led to the subprime mortgage crisis and the blame can certainly be spread to both the consumer and the lender in this situation, but it’s this enormously dangerous Derivatives bubble exploding that is literally ungluing the entire financial sector at the seams right now.

Derivatives are, quite simply, gambling. Wall Street was gambling with insane amounts of money through Derivatives – so much, in fact, the gross domestic product of every country in the world combined wouldn’t be able to cover the full amount of poisonous Derivatives floating out there! So how is  such a grossly huge amount even possible?

Because people were gambling with money they didn’t even have.

I’m also wondering if we’re witnessing the unraveling of another global bubble – that of living underneath the largest debt-based global fiat currency experiment in the history of the planet for over sixty years. By nature, debt-based fiat currencies are unsustainable so the very foundation of our monetary system is in need of a severly radical overhaul.

Right now my plan is to continue focusing on paying down debt since my belief has always been “debtor is servant to the lender”. My other focus is on the simple things which fortunately cost little to no money. This includes family, friends, laughter, stress release, exercise, expanding my knowledge with books from the library, learning how to grow my own food, as well as mastering other useful skills.

Because when it comes down to the nitty gritty of it all -  even if the financial world disintegrates to oblivion and I’m left penniless and completely impoverished – in essence, these simple things will still remain the true riches in my life.

=^..^=

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Featured Resources

Compare prices and read helpful product reviews to make smart buying easy through Ciao! – Price Comparison and Product Reviews for the savvy shopper.

Congratulations to Zack, a 23-year-old grad student in Information Technology, for winning the HP Laptop Grand Prize Package. Here’s all the amazing swag Zack just won (an astouding $1,700 value)!

• HP Pavilion dv7t series notebook
• HP xb4 Media Docking Station
• HP 500GB Pocket Media Drive
• HP Photosmart C6380 All-in-One Printer, Scanner, Copier
• HP Protect Messenger Bag

Four (4) Runner-up Readers have also been randomly selected to receive their very own Messenger Bag, courtesy of Hewlett Packard – (these seem to roughly run between $35-$50 in value).

1. Barbara Baker, a 34 year old mother of three from Texas
2. Sallie’s Niece, a 28 year old lawyer
3. Gregg Mendoza, a Call Center worker from California
4. Lisette, a freelance Web Designer from India

I’ve contacted all our winners by email and everyone must respond within one week to claim their prizes and sort appropriate shipping information. Congratulations, you guys!!

If you didn’t win anything tonight, here’s some good news. You still have many opportunities during October to win your own free laptop with the remainder of the “HP Freshman 15” websites participating in the Laptop Giveaway Promotion, so keep your eyes peeled on the following schedule:

Sep 26 – Oct 3: Poorer Than You
Sep 28 – Oct 5: Broke-Ass Student
Sep 30 – Oct 7: Broke Grad Student
Oct 2 – Oct 9: Study Hacks
Oct 4 – Oct 11: Cooking for Engineers
Oct 6 – Oct 13: College Being
Oct 8 – Oct 15: Paul Stamatiou
Oct 10 – Oct 17: DormDelicious
Oct 12 – Oct 19: Student Bloggers
Oct 14 – Oct 21: Jessica Mah Meets World
Oct 16 – Oct 23: UNEASYsilence
Oct 18 – Oct 25: Gomeler.com
Oct 20 – Oct 27: CampusGrotto
Oct 22 – Oct 29: Hack College
Oct 24 – Oct 31: The University Blog

Be sure to nip by each individual site for their own unique contest rules.

A big thanks goes out to both Hewlett Packard and Nick White for making this promotion possible and, of course, to everyone who participated. What a fun week this was! I’ll definitely work on promoting additional discussions and giveaways for the future since this was such a fantastic success.

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This Broke-Ass Prize Package includes;

• HP Pavilion dv7t series notebook
• HP xb4 Media Docking Station
• HP 500GB Pocket Media Drive
• HP Photosmart C6380 All-in-One Printer, Scanner, Copier
• HP Protect Messenger Bag

The entire package has an estimated value of $1,700 and this promotion is open to everyone, including those not in the United States.

How To Enter For Your Chance To Win

As you (may or may not) know, my main passions are writing and learning so I’ve decided to base my Laptop Giveaway contest off the spirit of these two pillars.

“To stop being a student means to stop living“

I find it very disheartening how little the Average American is aware of how our monetary policies work in the United States.  Many families are struggling under the burden of excruciating debt and grasping to keep their heads above water. This literally is financial suicide and only perpetuates a vicious cycle we become enslaved to. Financial literacy unfortunately is not taught well in our public schools, so let’s begin with examining how our financial system works here in the United States.

Here are some questions I’d like for you to examine. These are just rough guidelines and you can approach it however you wish. And you don’t need to tackle all of these, just introduce yourself and focus on one if possible.

1. Tell me a little bit about yourself and your finances. First just give me a brief synopsis to introduce yourself. How old  are you and what is your occupation? Do you have any savings or debt and do you find yourself struggling financially?

2. The Federal Reserve Central Bank. Who is the Federal Reserve, what is a central bank and what is their role in our monetary system? Who drafted the Federal Reserve Act? When was the Federal Reserve Act passed through Congress and under what circumstances?

3. Inflation. What causes inflation ; who benefits from inflation and who does it hurt?

4. Free Markets. What creates ‘booms’ and ‘busts’ of our business cycles, and is the United States a free market?

5. Fiat Currencies. What is a fiat currency, when did the United States abandon the gold standard, and why? Who benefits from a fiat currency and who does it hurt?

6. Fractional Reserve Banking. How is new money created in our banking system from credit? What would happen to our currency if everyone in the United States tried to pay off all their debt at the exact same time, and why?

[Edit - it seems people are copying and pasting for answers and some have expressed this is also waaay too much. If you can please introduce yourself and just tackle one subject area, but try in your own words. I want to promote open discussion so keep your eyes peeled on the comments as well because the conversation is also taking a course of its own. Even if you say, "Well, I don't really understand this.." or "my opinion of this is ..." As long as you're contributing to the comment conversation, you're entered in the drawing.]

Leave a comment at the end of this post with your opinions on what you nip up and feel free to share any resources you may have used. I’m hoping we can open a conversation and I’m going to let you guys decide where the discussion goes.

All comments must be submitted by 10:00 p.m. EST on October 5th and each unique comment will receive a number. I’ll randomly draw a number before midnight EST on October 5th and announce the lucky broke-ass winner of the HP Laptop Prize Package shortly thereafter.

Discuss.

=^..^=

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Featured Resources

Compare prices and read helpful product reviews to make smart buying easy through Ciao! – Price Comparison and Product Reviews for the savvy shopper.

Hewlett Packard has generously donated fifteen Pavilion Laptops to different college websites to give away to one lucky reader, and Broke-Ass Student has been included in the giveaway. Keep your eyeballs glued to these fifteen sites over the next few weeks for your chance to win a shiny new laptop during this exciting promotional event.

The HP Freshman 15

Sep 26 – Oct 3: Poorer Than You
Sep 28 – Oct 5: Broke-Ass Student
Sep 30 – Oct 7: Broke Grad Student
Oct 2 – Oct 9: Study Hacks
Oct 4 – Oct 11: Cooking for Engineers
Oct 6 – Oct 13: College Being
Oct 8 – Oct 15: Paul Stamatiou
Oct 10 – Oct 17: DormDelicious
Oct 12 – Oct 19: Student Bloggers
Oct 14 – Oct 21: Jessica Mah Meets World
Oct 16 – Oct 23: UNEASYsilence
Oct 18 – Oct 25: Gomeler.com
Oct 20 – Oct 27: CampusGrotto
Oct 22 – Oct 29: Hack College
Oct 24 – Oct 31: The University Blog

The prize package I’ll be giving away to one broke-ass reader includes;

• HP Pavilion dv7t series notebook
• HP xb4 Media Docking Station
• HP 500GB Pocket Media Drive
• HP Photosmart C6380 All-in-One Printer, Scanner, Copier
• HP Protect Messenger Bag

The entire package has an estimated value of $1,700 and further details for winning the dv7t series (fully loaded) from Broke-Ass Student will be announced on September 28th. Each site may have different requirements to win so be sure to nip over to Poorer Than You as Stephanie kick starts her Laptop Giveaway this Friday, the 26th.

The promotion is open to everyone, including those not in the United States. I’m so excited for you guys! This event is simply awesome.

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